Saturday 22 November 2014

A Mini Readathon, in 50 Steps

1) Locate snacks, make cappuccino. Instagram them.
2) Go on Twitter.
3) Consider reading.
4) Text Hanna.
5) Go back on Twitter.
6) Pick books - completely different from planned reading or current reads, because fuck it.
7) Instagram them.  Peek at what other Instagramming minithonners are doing.
8) Text Hanna again.
9) Read first line of Charlie Brooker book.
10) Stare at wall.

11) Baaaack to Twitter. Pin hot Spencer Reid photo on profile so I can look at it and smile like a smitten teenager later.
12) Eat first snacks: mini rocky road bite, cappuccino (now cold).
13) Go get on bed, away from laptop, determined to read something.
14) READ SEVEN PAGES. Success!
15) Twiddle thumbs.
16) Reply to Instagram comments.
17) Use up new Candy Crush lives.
18) Cat climbs into arms for a cuddle. Instagram it.
19) Pop downstairs to make food. End up watching telly with mum and stepdad.
20) Show mum and stepdad cute Instagram of kitty cuddles.

21) Make tea.  Instagram tea.
22) Look at book. Watch Criminal Minds instead.
23) Use up new Candy Crush lives while tea 'settles'.
24) Pick up novella. Carefully read back cover.
25) Equally carefully read the 'critical acclaim' pages and author bio.
26) Congratulate self on getting back to quality reading.
27) Tweet about it so everyone knows quality reading is happening.
28) Use up new Candy Crush lives to celebrate.
29) Read 10 pages of novella like a FUCKING PRO.
30) Go downstairs to fetch copious amounts of coffee and popcorn. Pat self on back for deserving such a treat.

31) Instagram coffee and popcorn.
32) Look to see what snacks other people are Instagramming.
33) Read another handful of pages while shoving popcorn into face.
34) Decide to make bed for later.
35) Get distracted using up new Candy Crush lives.
36) Actually make bed for later.
37) Fuck it, put on pyjamas as well. LIVING THE THUG LIFE.
38) Devour entire bowl of popcorn while reading actual pages, for the first time since the minithon began six and a half hours ago.
39) Just one little game of Candy Crush.
40) Cat arrives for more purry snuggling time. Commence kitty smushing.

41) Send Snapchat of cat to sister.
42) Instagram cat for good measure.
43) Read more actual pages.
44) Instagram picture of bookmark in book to prove that pages have been read.
45) Use up new Candy Crush lives.
46) Imbibe huge mug of coffee.
47) Pause to consider that 11:30pm is probably not the best time to be imbibing huge mug of coffee.
48) Baaaack to the book.
49) Okay, one more game of Candy Crush.  Sneak it in there before midnight.
50) Just a couple more pages and - THEY THINK IT'S ALL OVER!  IT IS NOW...